Once he got home he would continue the fantasy until he finally found release. Of course, one day, Thomas saw Shelia. Shelia had all but given up hope of finding someone to love her. She had tried a one-night stand only to change her mind at the guy’s apartment. His disappointment punctuated by cursing and words like ‘tease’ and ‘slut’ and ‘cunt’. Shelia was done with men at after that. Her girlfriends had consoled her. One had even made a pass that was gently, but firmly, rejected. Shelia had found solace in watching romance movies. A public, but simultaneously, private place. A fantasy on screen shared with many other people. Shelia had talked herself into believing this constituted a form of relationship that would not cause the pain of a broken heart. Thomas spied her when she arrived. He had long ago learned to arrive early, sit up high in the back and watch other patrons as they found their seats. Many a couple choose their place and the woman would go for treats. These were. My throat dry as the desert, tortured by the blast of the powerful coughs that push there way from my lungs. It is now raw and torn as if tiny little blades have sliced me from the inside out. The acrid taste of phlegm crosses my crusty coated tongue making me feel nauseous and dizzy. I have to snort constantly to try and keep my nasal cavity clear to allow me to breathe. This action however has me swallowing more snot into my gullet adding to my upset stomach. I don’t even know how I am able to keep from throwing up. My head swims through a myriad of twisted dreams as I float between the conscious and the unconscious. The medications I am taking never seem to keep me in either state, so I stay in the dismal unknown my head floating as I struggle through this purgatory. Always asleep yet never feeling its warm embrace completely I am left tired and worn. This cold has me regressing back to my days of an infant. I feel helpless and needy as the third and worst day drags on. Men are.
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